{"id":3558,"date":"2025-01-16T18:05:23","date_gmt":"2025-01-16T17:05:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/complicated.life\/blog\/?p=3558"},"modified":"2025-08-19T10:52:58","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T08:52:58","slug":"internal-family-systems-therapy-ifs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/complicated.life\/blog\/internal-family-systems-therapy-ifs\/","title":{"rendered":"What exactly is Internal Family Systems?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Have you ever found yourself experiencing conflicting emotions and beliefs, wondering if you might have multiple personalities? This experience is more common than you might think. Often, the challenge lies in comprehending and reconciling these conflicting emotions and thoughts within ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our society is heavily influenced by a \u201cmono-mind\u201d belief system, which assumes that all thoughts, emotions, impulses, and urges come from a single mind. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model and approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. It offers a different perspective, one that explores the intricate inner workings of the human mind. IFS suggests that within each individual, there are various sub-personalities or Parts<\/strong>, each with unique characteristics, emotions, and functions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The concept of Parts or sub-personalities is already recognized in psychology. Freud, for instance, divided the mind into the id, ego, and superego. After him, several therapeutic modalities were built around the idea of sub-personalities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IFS Is A Synthesis Of Three Paradigms<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\n
Multiplicity of mind:<\/strong> Each person contains many different sub-personalities.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Systemic thinking:<\/strong> Intrapsychic processes are seen as a dynamic system in which different Parts interact with one another.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Spirituality:<\/strong> There is a reconnection to a main Essence or Self<\/strong> within each person, similar to what many spiritual traditions describe.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
We all experience continuous, complex interactions with our inner voice, thinking patterns, and emotions. When we lower the volume of those voices, we can connect with the Self<\/strong> that IFS describes. From now on, I will refer to the \u201cSystem\u201d as the sum of its Parts.<\/p>\n\n\n\nIFS suggests that within all of us there are various sub-personalities or parts, each with unique characteristics.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
The Basic Premise Of The IFS Model<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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By nature, the mind contains sub-personalities or Parts<\/strong>. Having multiple Parts is normal and useful.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
The impact of trauma charges a Part with a burden of emotions, sensations, and memory; this makes other Parts want to protect the System from re-experiencing those feelings.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Each Part carries a positive intention. There are no bad Parts. The goal of IFS therapy is not to get rid of Parts but to help them find a more functional and healthy role in the System.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
The changes that occur in the internal System also affect the outside world.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Everyone has a Self<\/strong>. Many spiritual traditions recognize that within us, there is something unconditioned by society, often referred to as our true nature; in IFS, it is called the Self (other traditions might call it Essence).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
How These Parts Work<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
We can better understand these Parts if we relate to them as individual entities within the mind. Each Part is an autonomous mental system with its own emotions, expressions, abilities, desires, and vision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We can begin to track these Parts within ourselves by paying attention to certain indicators:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Thought<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Feelings<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Sensations<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Memory<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Inner voices<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Words<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Dreams<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Physical symptoms<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
The Three Roles Of Parts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
There are three roles recognized in the System, two of which are protective: Managers<\/strong> and Firefighters<\/strong>. The third role is known as Exile<\/strong>, which is the vulnerable Part of the System that needs protection. As the name suggests, it is hidden within the System.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Manager<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The first category of protective Parts we usually interact with is called Managers. Their primary function is to keep the pain of the Exile deactivated by maintaining control in relationships and situations. Managers help people function in daily life and adapt to their environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the key traits of Managers is that they are socially acceptable. They adopt the beliefs, values, and biases of society in order to be accepted by others. They also carry the heavy burden of \u201cparentifying\u201d the Exile by controlling situations. Two of the underlying voices that characterize Managers are self-criticism<\/strong> and perfectionism<\/strong>; the hope is that by being perfect and accepted by others, no unpleasant feelings will be activated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Firefighters<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Managers focus on keeping the person in control and protecting the System from vulnerability. When, despite a Manager\u2019s efforts, vulnerability is triggered, Firefighters react quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just as a real firefighter extinguishes a fire and rescues people, this protector reacts when the Exile\u2019s pain is activated, aiming to shut that pain down. Firefighters are determined to protect the System at any cost and tend to act impulsively and reactively. Although their goal is the same as that of Managers, their methods often conflict. Because of how they protect the System, Firefighters are not as socially accepted, and they often do not consider the negative impact on others or on the person\u2019s health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One primary strategy Firefighters use is the 3 F\u2019s: Fighting, Flying, and Freezing<\/strong>. They may dissociate or numb the person by resorting to substances, activities, or distractions (e.g., drugs, sex, mindless social media use, overeating). In relationships, Firefighters can make the person very aggressive when they feel attacked, or cause them to cut someone off altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Traditional therapy often views the behavior of Firefighters as pathological. IFS recognizes their intention to protect and seeks to negotiate with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\nIn IFS therapy, firefighters are determined to protect the System at any cost and tend to act impulsively and reactively<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Exile<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
When we are children, we are sensitive and vulnerable. Because of this, certain experiences can have a lasting impact on us, whether through a single event or repeated experiences over time. Examples of negative experiences include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Attachment wounds<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Humiliation<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Violation of boundaries<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Repeated judgment<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Rejection<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Lack of attunement from parental figures<\/li>\n\n\n\n
Neglect<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Due to these experiences, a young Part takes on a Burden<\/strong>\u2014emotions, feelings, and beliefs associated with the situation. It\u2019s important to clarify that the trauma does not create the Part itself; it shapes the Part by giving it a Burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Burden can also be transmitted by culture, society, or family lineage. It can be seen as a virus that contaminates the Part. The key point is that these Parts believe they are<\/strong> the Burden, but in truth, they only carry<\/strong> it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, these Parts are separated and isolated from the rest of the System, which is why they are called Exiles. They still carry the memory, emotions, and sensations of the situation in which they were wounded. Other Parts fear them because, if vulnerable emotions surface, they can overwhelm the person and impair daily functioning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From the perspective of Protectors, exiling these Parts is a means of survival and self-preservation. However, the negative consequence is that we also disconnect from positive qualities like curiosity, spontaneity, connection, and creativity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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The Self<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
IFS recognizes that everyone has a seat of consciousness called the Self<\/strong>. During our upbringing, we may disconnect from the Self and allow other Parts to take control of our lives. Despite this disconnection, the Self remains intact and cannot be damaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This disconnection is often encouraged by the people who raise us; most of us do not have parents who model the embodiment of the Self, and instead we learn to operate primarily from our Parts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feeling led by the Self\u2014rather than by a Part\u2014can involve a sense of calm, clarity, and other qualities. The Self can be recognized as the ability to observe our internal processes. Embodying the Self is not a binary state; IFS acknowledges that there are varying degrees of Self-energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Quality Of The Self Or The 8 C\u2019s<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
We can recognize the presence of the Self when one or more of these qualities is present:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Curiosity<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Calm<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Confidence<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Compassion<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Creativity<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Clarity<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Courage<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
Connectedness<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
One of the primary goals of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is to be guided by the Self rather than by our Parts. This is achieved by building a relationship with both our Self and our Parts. Sometimes it is effortless to tap into our Self-energy; at other times, our protective Parts may intervene because they do not yet trust the Self\u2019s ability to lead the System.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember, it is rare for anyone to be in a state of pure Self while simultaneously experiencing all eight of these qualities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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