{"id":6000,"date":"2026-08-06T13:10:53","date_gmt":"2026-08-06T11:10:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/complicated.life\/blog\/?p=6000"},"modified":"2026-08-06T13:10:54","modified_gmt":"2026-08-06T11:10:54","slug":"cross-cultural-therapy-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/complicated.life\/blog\/cross-cultural-therapy-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Cross-Cultural Mistakes Therapists and Coaches Make"},"content":{"rendered":"

The more I work internationally, the less I believe in universal communication rules.<\/p>\n

What feels emotionally healthy, respectful, professional, or even \u201cobvious\u201d is shaped by culture, often without either person realising it. Many coaching and therapeutic conversations still happen through the practitioner\u2019s own cultural default settings.<\/p>\n

Coaching, and therapy too, often has a Western foundation by default, because it assumes ideas like individuality, emotional openness, direct communication, self-prioritisation, and independent decision-making are universal values. As professionals, we need to stay aware not only of our own cultural biases, but also of the assumptions built into the practices, frameworks, and methodologies we use.<\/p>\n

One of the clearest examples of this is the relationship with authority itself.<\/p>\n

How Cultural Background Shapes the Client-Practitioner Relationship<\/h2>\n

In coaching spaces especially, we often talk about partnership, equality, and adult-to-adult dynamics. Ideally, that\u2019s the goal. But many clients still see the practitioner as the expert, the authority figure, or someone whose opinion should not be openly questioned, and depending on cultural background, that dynamic can be strong.<\/p>\n

In many Middle Eastern, Asian, Eastern European, or Latin American cultures, respect toward authority figures may be instilled from childhood. Challenging a teacher, disagreeing openly with a specialist, or questioning expertise can feel disrespectful or inappropriate.<\/p>\n

So a client may nod and say, \u201cYes, that makes sense,\u201d not because they agree, but because disagreeing directly with the professional in front of them feels culturally unnatural. A coach or therapist from a more egalitarian culture, such as the Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, or Canada, may read that same response as alignment or commitment to action. Both people leave the session believing the conversation was clear, while holding completely different understandings of what happened.<\/p>\n

After working with clients from more than 35 countries, and living across multiple cultural environments myself, I\u2019ve noticed that cross-cultural work is rarely about language alone. It\u2019s about meaning. The same behaviour, decision, reaction, or emotional response can carry different implications depending on the cultural context behind it.<\/p>\n

Here are five of the most common mistakes I see practitioners make when working across cultures.<\/p>\n\n\n

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1. Mistaking Your Cultural Defaults for Objectivity<\/h2>\n

Coming from a Russian background, I grew up with a communication style where directness was associated with honesty and respect: say what you mean, be clear, don\u2019t waste people\u2019s time.<\/p>\n

When I started working in Latin America, I quickly realised that what felt respectful and efficient to me didn\u2019t always land the same way. I often heard that I was too cold, too aggressive, or too blunt, when from my perspective I thought I was simply being transparent and professional.<\/p>\n

I still remember presenting a project idea early in my career in Nicaragua and hearing, \u201cHm, I think that might be difficult.\u201d In my mind, difficult meant challenging but possible, so I kept trying to convince the person: proposing solutions, clarifying my reasoning, reassuring them I could handle the risks. Only later did I understand that this was the no. Nobody had told me that in many Latin American cultures, preserving harmony and avoiding direct confrontation can matter more than explicit clarity.<\/p>\n

This happens constantly in coaching and therapy. A German or Dutch client may appreciate direct challenge and feedback. A Japanese or Colombian client may experience that same communication style<\/a> as emotionally harsh or confrontational. Directness may be read as aggression, indirectness as avoidance, emotional restraint as disconnection, while both practitioner and client believe they are being clear and respectful.<\/p>\n

2. Forgetting That Decisions Don\u2019t Happen in a Vacuum<\/h2>\n

Practitioners often underestimate how much culture shapes decision-making itself, not just communication.<\/p>\n

Take relationships and divorce<\/a> as an example. In many Western societies, conversations about marriage centre on individual fulfilment, including:<\/p>\n