Dr. Sue Johnson developed EFT with attachment theory in mind. A secure relationship is a basic need that can easily be unmet if there is distress, conflict or crisis. This often leads to feelings of threat, sometimes even unbearable. Many people cope with this by building up a wall that makes them less and less approachable. Others try reach their partner by all means, even if it is through fights. The distance between the partners grows bigger and bigger and feelings of loneliness fill up all the space.
By working with these emotions, partners start understanding why the other person reacts the way they do and the negative cycle of withdrawal and blame can be broken. With time wounds that occurred in the relationship start healing and feelings of connection and love start to come back.