Appreciating Dreams with Roland Evans

It was winter 1979 in Edinburgh, Scotland and as usual the wind off the North Sea cut to the bone as my future wife, Orianne and I knocked on Winifred’s front door. Upstairs a group of eight to ten of us huddled in a circle around an electric bar heater in Winifred’s front room drinking weak lapsong souchong tea from a thermos.

Although we met every Wednesday, we knew little of each other’s outer lives. Our only task was to explore the workings of our inner worlds through sharing dreams.

Dr. Winfred Rushforth sat to one side in an overstuffed armchair, a gently commanding presence, her snowy hair forming a halo around a strong square wrinkled face framed by oversize glasses. She had trained as a an analysts in the 1920s in London and at age 96 she had been practicing as a therapist for over 50 years.  She still saw clients every day and ran a dream group every evening, including Sundays. 

For the most part Winifred sat quietly, allowing us participants to appreciate and associate to each other’s dreams.  Every now and then she would point out a particular aspect of the dream or tell a story from her long and colorful life.  She’d corresponded with CG Jung when he was alive and was a friend of Laurens van der post and the then Prince Charles, now King Charles III.

Winifred was not simply a therapist; she was a spiritual force. Every night at 3.00am she practiced her own form of meditation dedicated to the Holy Spirit.  Hers was a life of service, first as a female physician in India working with neglected women and then as founder of the first therapeutic clinic in Scotland

In the dream group, she carried an aura of loving benevolence with no judgement but if needed her owl-like gaze could penetrate a dream to its utmosts depths. The dream group left an indelible imprint, an enduring fascination for those nightly outpourings of our hidden psyches. Now, after all these years, I feel her presence whenever I approach a dream.

So what are dreams? They are not puzzles, not noise from a sleeping brain; they are natural upswellings of our deeper selves, arising from a more ancient intelligence deep within us. A dream is an experience and like all experiences, it is simply doing what it is meant to do: enrich our being. Think of them as stories from a distant country told in a language we almost recognize but do not understand. It is as if an Englishman listens to a story told in Dutch; it sounds familiar but he can’t quite make it out.

Confronted by a dream, our automatic reaction is puzzled dismissal. Each dream carries a cloak of obscurity; our consciousness pushes it away, finding it too slippery to hold. Easily forgotten, any dream we recall is a gift from our unconscious. Our deeper self has worked hard to create a set of mental images, a startling story or a riddle that is vivid enough to bypass our mental filters. Sometimes it delves deeper to offer mythological and spiritual insights from the collective experience of humanity.

Dreams are messages, signals and symbols telling us some aspect of our being has been overlooked or neglected. The unconscious is tapping us on the shoulder, asking us to listen—and we need to pay attention.

As a therapist, in an ordinary week I hear about 10 dreams—something over 25,000 over my career—yet I have never been bored. Each dream is a mystery, unique and as precious as a pearl embedded within an oyster shell. Before we can open the shell to reveal its wisdom, the dream demands we handle it with gentle curiosity, turning it over and over in our mind. Once we fully appreciate a dream—its elegance, strangeness and complexity—it might allow us to find the hinge that unlocks its meaning.

Dreamwork begins with respect and grateful acceptance. Hanging out with the dream, it resonates in our imagination. A certain felt-sense or intuition pulls us toward particular aspects: a vivid color, a bizarre image, scary action, a mythological reference, a dark stranger or a juxtaposition of forgotten memories. These are the keys that invite us to explore, inquire, make associative leaps and even re-dream the dream.

Recognizing the intent of some else’s dream is not so difficult once we gain experience. Understanding our own is always hard—so it helps to have a few simple pointers. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you unfold a dream’s message:

• What main aspect of the dream attracts my attention? What does it remind me of?
• How active and engaged am I in the dream? How is that similar or different from how I am in my life?
• What is the main feeling of the dream? How is that related to my moods or emotion in my waking life?
• How does the dream end and what does it leave me with? Does it pose a question I need to answer?
• What is the quality of the relationship between aspects of the dream: people, images, animals and objects? If those are all part of me, what is it saying?
• Are there powerful numinous images that capture my imagination? How do these connect to the common experience of humanity?

As insights pop into our minds, we begin to get a sense of what the dream is pointing towards, though we seldom exhaust its full meaning. Our final task is to take the dream seriously, pay attention and put its lessons into practice. That might mean recognizing a blind spot, thinking through an issue, realizing a deeper aspect of our experience or creating a plan of action. What is certain is the more we listen to our dreams, the clearer the guidance we receive from our inner self.

Every night we enter the world of dreams. Vivid or vague experiences arise from somewhere deep inside, connecting us with the core of our being and offering glimpses of primal collective wisdom. Our deepest Self is there to help and guide us. All we need to do is to listen and appreciate its many riches.

Advantages of Discovering Your Therapist via It’s Complicated

• No Setup Costs: Creating an account and reaching out to therapists is entirely cost-free.
• Transparent Pricing: You’ll only pay the session fee, with no concealed booking fees.
• Precise Search: Utilise our robust search tool to pinpoint therapists based on your specific preferences.
• Thorough Listings: Easily explore therapists categorised by their specialty, approach, location, and language.

_{It’s Complicated is a therapy platform that not only helps clients find their perfect therapist but also supports therapists in their craft of helping others. Featuring over 2,000 mental health professionals from 80+ countries, counselling is available in almost 100 languages, both online and in person. A GDPR-compliant video solution, encrypted messaging, and easy invoicing guarantee a private and seamless counselling experience for therapists and clients alike. If you are in a serious crisis and need urgent help, please use one of these resources instead.}