The Confidence Gap No One Talks About
Many high-achievers secretly feel like frauds, constantly waiting for the moment when everyone realizes they don’t actually belong. This experience, widely known as imposter syndrome, isn’t just about self-doubt or temporary insecurity. It actively shapes the way we perceive our competence, our worth and ultimately, our potential. At the core of this experience lies a psychological concept that many people don’t even know exists: self-efficacy, or our belief in our ability to succeed. And when imposter syndrome starts whispering in our ear, it’s self-efficacy that takes the biggest hit.
Let’s look at how this inner critic operates, why it targets even the most capable individuals, and most importantly what you can do to silence it.
Imposter Syndrome: When Achievement Feels Like a Fluke
Imposter syndrome was first coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. Originally identified in high-achieving women, we now know it affects all genders and backgrounds, especially those in competitive or high-performance environments.
People with imposter syndrome often:
- Attribute success to luck or timing rather than skill
- Fear being “found out” as incompetent
- Downplay accomplishments, even in the face of praise
- Set unrealistically high expectations and feel crushed when they don’t meet them
Ironically, the more successful someone becomes, the more pressure they feel to maintain an image of competence. It becomes a vicious cycle: achieving more doesn’t ease the doubt – it amplifies it.
Self-Efficacy: The Belief Engine Behind Success
Psychologist Albert Bandura described self-efficacy as our belief in our capacity to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific outcomes. In simple terms: Do I think I can handle this challenge?
High self-efficacy is linked to:
- Greater resilience in the face of setbacks
- Higher motivation and effort
- Better problem-solving and adaptability
- Lower stress and anxiety levels
But when imposter thoughts dominate, they chip away at that belief system. You might think:
- “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
- “I just got lucky.”
- “Any minute now, they’ll realize I don’t belong here.”
These thoughts don’t just feel bad – they rewire how you see yourself. Here’s the kicker: the less you believe in your abilities (low self-efficacy), the more vulnerable you are to imposter syndrome. And the more you feel like an imposter, the harder it becomes to build real confidence. It’s a feedback loop that keeps people playing small, even when they’re fully capable of more. Over time, these patterns not only hold you back at work but also affect your well-being, your relationships, and how you see yourself.
What It Looks Like in Real Life
One client in her early 30s had climbed the ranks quickly in her tech company. Instead of feeling proud, she was convinced she had somehow slipped through the cracks. She said yes to everything, stayed late every night, and lived in constant fear of being “found out.” Her exhaustion was praised as “drive,” which only reinforced her belief that she had to overperform just to be enough.
Another client, deep into his PhD, was convinced he had only been accepted into the program because of a fluke. Every compliment from a professor made him uncomfortable, like he was getting credit he didn’t deserve. He became hesitant, overly perfectionistic, and afraid to share his work. Not because he wasn’t capable, but because he feared even the smallest misstep would reveal that he didn’t belong.
And then there was a freelance designer with glowing reviews and a steady stream of clients. On the outside, she looked like the picture of success. But every new project sent her into a spiral of anxiety. “What if this is the one where I finally mess up?” she’d ask. Her response was to overdeliver – polishing every detail to exhaustion, hoping it would quiet the voice telling her she wasn’t truly talented.
What did they all have in common? High performance on the outside, low self-efficacy on the inside and a deeply entrenched imposter voice whispering, “You don’t really deserve this.”
Rewriting the Script: How to Build Real Confidence
The good news? Both imposter syndrome and self-efficacy are learned and they can be unlearned.
Here’s how:
1. Challenge the Thought, Not the Self
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers tools to identify and challenge distorted thoughts.
Example:
- Thought: “I’m only here because I was lucky.”
- Reframe: “I prepared for this opportunity and I took it when it came.”
2. Reframe Success
Focus on effort, growth, and learning rather than flawless outcomes or praise. Start asking: “What did I learn from this?” instead of “Did I do it perfectly?”
3. Stack Small Wins
Confidence grows in increments. Set achievable goals and acknowledge progress. Every time you handle something you thought you couldn’t, your brain rewires a little.
4. Speak It Out Loud
Imposter syndrome thrives in silence. Talking to mentors, coaches, or therapists can help normalize the experience and dismantle the shame behind it. Fun fact: Studies found that nearly 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. You’re far from alone.
Let’s Talk About the Confidence Gap
This isn’t just a personality quirk – It’s a mental trap that keeps smart, capable, hardworking people from fully stepping into their lives. When we don’t talk about this, we reinforce the myth that success must feel certain to be valid. But uncertainty is human. And the real mark of confidence isn’t knowing you’ll succeed – it’s showing up even when you’re not sure.
Final Thoughts
Imposter syndrome and self-efficacy are two sides of the same coin. One tells you you’re not enough. The other helps you remember that you are, especially in the face of doubt. If you’ve ever felt like you’re faking it, take a deep breath. You’re not alone and you’re not a fraud. You’re simply standing at the edge of your growth.
And that? That’s exactly where real confidence begins.
Sources
- Bandura, A. (1997). Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H. Freeman.
- Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high-achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.
- Bravata, D. M., et al. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of imposter syndrome: A systematic review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 35(4), 1252–1275.
