Depersonalisation and derealisation are unsettling experiences that involve feeling detached from yourself or the world around you. These experiences are central to what is often referred to as Depersonalisation and Feelings of Unreality (DPAFU).
What Is DPAFU?
- Depersonalisation is the feeling of being detached from your own body, thoughts, emotions, or memories—as if you’re observing yourself from the outside.
- Derealisation is the sense that the world around you is unreal, dreamlike, or foggy.
People experiencing DPAFU often describe their perceptions using phrases like “as if I’m not really here” or “as if everything is a dream.”
Symptom Table: Understanding DPAFU
Category | Examples |
| Thoughts | “I’m going mad”, “I’ve damaged my brain”, “This will never end”, “I’m not real” |
| Emotions | Anxiety, sadness, hopelessness, frustration, guilt, helplessness |
| Physical Sensations | Fatigue, dizziness, numbness, tension, palpitations, shortness of breath |
| Cognitive Symptoms | Brain fog, memory problems, racing thoughts, rumination, existential worry |
| Behaviours | Avoiding crowds, staying indoors, reassurance-seeking, excessive distraction |
| Unhelpful Actions | Internet searching, self-medicating, pretending, escaping situations |
Why Does DPAFU Happen?
DPAFU is often the brain’s protective response to overwhelming stress, trauma, or anxiety. It’s similar to the “freeze” response seen in animals—when escape feels impossible, the mind detaches to cope. This state temporarily shuts down emotional responses and sensory processing, which can feel helpful in the moment but distressing if it lingers.
Triggers may include:
- Panic attacks
- Social anxiety
- Intrusive thoughts
- Trauma
- Intense or chronic stress
What Happens in the Brain During DPAFU?
Neuroscience research suggests that DPAFU is linked to an imbalance in brain systems that regulate emotion, perception, and self-awareness.
Here’s what we know:
1. Emotion-Suppressing System Is Overactive
Brain imaging studies have shown that people with DPAFU often have reduced activity in emotional processing areas, such as the amygdala. This may explain the emotional numbness and sense of detachment commonly reported.
- The brain is essentially dampening emotional responses to protect the person from overwhelming anxiety or trauma.
- This can make everything feel “flat,” disconnected, or unreal.
2. The Prefrontal Cortex Takes Over
The prefrontal cortex — responsible for rational thinking and control — appears to become over-engaged during episodes of DPAFU. This can suppress the brain’s emotional systems even more.
- You may find yourself overanalyzing your thoughts and sensations, feeling trapped in your own head, or becoming hyperaware of your existence.
3. Perceptual Processing Is Altered
The brain’s usual integration of sensory information (vision, sound, touch) may become disrupted. This helps explain symptoms like:
- Visual distortions
- Feeling like you’re in a dream
- Things looking “off” or distant
It’s not that your senses aren’t working — it’s that your brain is processing reality differently.
4. Stress Response and the ‘Freeze’ Reaction
DPAFU is considered part of the body’s defensive response to a threat, similar to “fight or flight.” But instead of fighting or running, the brain freezes, detaching from the environment as a form of psychological escape. This reaction is automatic. You’re not choosing to disconnect — your brain is trying to protect you from intense emotional pain or fear.
Misunderstanding and Misdiagnosis
Many individuals with DPAFU are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression because the symptoms can overlap. For instance, emotional numbness in DPAFU may resemble the emotional blunting found in depression, but the sense of unreality is a key difference. One common myth is that DPAFU is rare, but in reality, it is more common than many clinicians realize.
Is DPAFU Dangerous?
No. DPAFU is not a sign of psychosis or schizophrenia. People with DPAFU often fear they are “going mad,” but research shows it does not lead to psychotic disorders. The experience is real, but it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you, not harm you.
What Keeps It Going?
Sometimes, the distress caused by DPAFU itself becomes a trigger, creating a vicious cycle:
- “Why do I feel this way?”
- “What if I never feel real again?”
- “What if I’ve damaged my brain?”
These thoughts increase anxiety and make the symptoms persist.
Can You Recover from DPAFU?
Yes. Many people fully recover, and others experience symptoms only occasionally under stress. Some recover without treatment, while others benefit from therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), or in some cases, medication.
How CBT Can Help
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) helps by:
- Teaching you to distinguish between thoughts, emotions, and sensations
- Challenging catastrophic thinking
- Encouraging realistic, value-based goals
- Reducing avoidance and safety behaviours
- Helping you shift attention away from your symptoms
A Helpful First Step: Goal Setting
Ask yourself:
- “How would I know if I was feeling better?”
- “What would I be doing differently?”
Example:
“If I were feeling more real, I’d go out with friends twice a week.”
Start small, keep goals realistic, and track your progress. Celebrate even small wins—they build momentum.
Practical Exercises for Managing DPAFU
While understanding and accepting DPAFU is a crucial first step, taking small, consistent actions can help retrain the brain and reduce symptoms over time. Below are some exercises and strategies that many people have found helpful in their recovery journey.
1. Grounding Techniques
These exercises help bring your attention back to the present and reduce feelings of detachment.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
- Name:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
- Body Awareness
- Focus on the feeling of your feet on the ground, your back against a chair, or the texture of an object in your hand. Describe it in detail.
2. Mindfulness and Acceptance
Learning to observe your experience without judgment helps reduce the fear and resistance that often maintain DPAFU.
- Practice mindful breathing for 5–10 minutes a day. Focus on the air entering and leaving your body.
- Try apps like Headspace or Calm for guided mindfulness.
- Accept the sensation without trying to fight it: “This feels strange, but it’s not dangerous.”
3. Behavioral Activation
Doing meaningful or enjoyable activities—even when you don’t feel like it—can help reconnect you with reality and improve your mood.
- Make a daily routine that includes regular meals, light exercise, and social contact.
- Choose small activities that align with your values (e.g., talking to a friend, doing a hobby).
- Track your mood before and after to notice changes.
4. Journaling and Cognitive Restructuring
Write down your thoughts and examine them for distortions or assumptions.
- Example: “I’ll never get better” → Challenge this by listing evidence for and against.
- Use CBT-style worksheets or apps like Thought Diary.
5. Attention Training
Since DPAFU often involves inward, obsessive focus, try actively shifting attention outward.
- Describe what you see in your environment in detail.
- Try engaging in tasks that demand external focus, such as drawing from observation, cooking, or organizing something physical.
6. Exercise and Movement
Physical activity can regulate stress hormones and reconnect you to your body.
- Start with gentle movement (e.g., walking, stretching, yoga).
- Focus on the sensations in your body while moving—this enhances grounding.
7. Limit Reassurance and Internet Searches
Constant reassurance-seeking and Googling can maintain anxiety.
- Set limits: e.g., “I will only search for information once a week, for 10 minutes.”
- Practice sitting with uncertainty rather than trying to eliminate it.
Recovery from DPAFU is possible. It may take time, and progress is not always linear, but many people regain a strong sense of connection to themselves and the world. Whether through self-help, therapy, or a combination of both, the key lies in understanding the experience, accepting it, and gradually re-engaging with life.
Recommended Reading
For those who wish to learn more about depersonalisation and feelings of unreality, a highly recommended resource is Overcoming Depersonalisation and Feelings of Unreality, 2nd Edition: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques by Anthony David, Emma Lawrence, Dawn Baker, and Elaine Hunter. Part of the well-regarded Overcoming series, this book is written in accessible language and designed for the general public. It provides practical tools based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) that can support both individuals experiencing DPAFU and the professionals who work with them. This book was also used as a key reference in the development of this article.
