The root cause of depression
Depression comes from lat. "deprimiere", to press down. What is being "depressed" are simply painful or threatening emotions we do not want to feel. It really is that simple. Anger might seem to threaten your relationship, fear becomes overwhelming, etc. The solution: unblocking the emotions and learning how to transform them without simply acting out. This is very rewarding and builds a ton of courage and life force.
Be a good boy
In our childhoods, we often learn in a subtle way that we must behave a certain way in order to be accepted or even tolerated by our caretakers. For a child, abandonment is a fear equal to death, as it can not survive on its own. As we move into young adulthood, we use our analytical brain to anticipate what others want and try to give them that, so our needs will be met and we can feel safe. Conflict is learned to be a bad thing.
This programming, which was once essential, often does not serve men well as they become adults. Some rise to middle management because they put in huge effort to meet as many requirements as well as possible, often burning out in the process. In personal life, particularly in dating and relationships, this approach diminishes self-esteem, men basically lives in fear of disappointing their partners, their minds are racing, sexual polarity is lost, conflicts are suppressed at the cost of their own needs.
The 1% Rule (James Clear)
All my clients are required to commit to daily small practices. The reason: big breakthroughs are based on many tiny steps. Like Chinese bamboo grows roots imperceptibly for a time only to shoot out of the ground to up to 10 meters height in a matter of days. Looking for the giant leap keeps you stuck and burns you out.
Growth vs problem fixing
I never view my clients as "mentally ill". This is a counterproductive label. Like a plant, everyone grows when provided the necessary resources and withers without.