Berfin Alyesil

Hi everyone!

I am a clinical psychosexologist, researcher and artist.

My work sits at the intersection of psychology, sexuality and artistic practice.

I hold a double bachelor's degree in Psychology and Cinema and I am currently completing my Master's in Applied Dynamic and Clinical Psychology at Sapienza University of Roma, specializing in Clinical Psychosexology. Alongside my clinical training I also work as a tutor for professionals getting their clinical sexology formation at the Clinical Sexology Institute of Rome. And I remain an active participant of the field of sexology, engaged in academic and cultural research through publications and congresses on sexuality, identity and contemporary intimacy.

Rather than approaching sexuality primarily as a set of symptoms to be corrected, I love to approach it as a creative, relational and symbolic force of the psyche that helps us thrive in our lives. I see sexuality as imagination, embodiment and meaning, not as mechanical performance or purely biological function. Desire is not just something that "works" or "doesn't work", it carries diverse pieces of us, such as our history, fantasy, fear, culture, memory and identity, and I am very careful about integrating these into my work. My practice is a space where, together, we can examine different layers with both rigor and curiosity.

I am well aware that our sexual selves are often constrained by customs and laws. I recognize the inherently political dimension of sexual well-being and I approach my work with a clear stance in its commitment to autonomy and dignity. I support individuals navigating internalized shame and guilt. I work comfortably with sexual and relationship diversity, including LGBTQ+ identities, non-monogamous relationships and kink communities. I strive to create a practice where diverse erotic expressions can be explored without pathologization.

Clients typically come to me for various reasons including:

• Problems with sexual pleasure and orgasm
• Low desire or mismatched desire
• Performance anxiety
• Sexual shame
• Exploration of sexual orientation or gender identity
• Relationship breakdowns
• Exploring kink, BDSM and fetishes
• Compulsive sexual behaviours

However, therapy often evolves beyond the initial complaint since sexual topics are rarely isolated because our sexualities are intricately connected with our attachment history, family narratives and cultural identities. Most importantly, I believe sexuality is one of the most direct paths to get in touch with the deeper layers of the psyche and this is exactly why I love the work I do.

I often come back to the idea that "sex is how adults play", therefore one of the distinguishing elements of my work is the integration of our playful and creative selves. When play disappears, intimacy becomes performance which may lead to a sense of obligation or anxiety. As far as my experience shows me, reintroducing conscious play into our lives, within safe and therapeutic boundaries, allows us to reconnect with our curiosity and agency in all the different parts of our lives.

This interest in play also extends beyond the therapy room. I am the co-creator of Unveil, a card game designed to facilitate meaningful conversations and experiences around intimacy, desire, identity and human connection. The project emerged from my belief that play, curiosity and self-discovery are deeply intertwined.

I am also deeply informed by my experience as an immigrant and believe in my ability to create culturally sensitive and inclusive spaces for all. I am attentive to how culture, migration, language or social norms shape our identities and desire dynamics. I know from first hand experience how transformative immigration can be. Therefore, I support people in building a new life for themselves and their loved ones, tackling issues such as integration, survivor's guilt, intercultural relationships, getting rooted and feelings of derootedness. Migration often reshapes intimacy with both ourselves and the others and I hold space for those transitions with nuance.

Beyond clinical work, I also facilitate workshops on diverse topics such as erotic communication, desire, sex positive sexual education or self-expressive practices. I often describe my work as engaging with libido in multiple forms, both its creative and sexual manifestations. My artistic practice allows me to engage with libidinal energy as a force of imagination and transformation while my clinical work lets me translate this understanding into a grounded, ethical and healing space for the others. I offer a free introductory session if you are interested in meeting and seeing if working together would be a good fit for both of us.

I hope you have a wonderful day!