Jan Bakker

I am an IFS therapist dedicated to helping you gently explore and heal your inner family of parts with curiosity and compassion.

My work is deeply rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful, evidence-based, and heart-centered model of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS views the mind as naturally multiple — we all have different “parts” that carry our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and memories.

Rather than seeing these parts as problems to be eliminated or symptoms to be managed, IFS understands that every part has a positive intention and has been working hard to help or protect us, often since childhood or in response to difficult life experiences.

In our sessions, we create a safe, respectful, and non-judgmental space where these parts can finally be heard, understood, and witnessed without fear of rejection. We gently help protective parts — the managers that try to keep everything under control and the firefighters that rush in to distract or numb us — relax their extreme roles. At the same time, we offer compassionate care and healing to the wounded exile parts that carry the burdens of shame, fear, loneliness, grief, or unworthiness.

As these burdens are gradually released, your core Self — the wise, calm, curious, compassionate, confident, and connected essence of who you truly are — naturally steps forward to lead your inner system with clarity and kindness.

I work with individuals who are seeking support for a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, trauma and PTSD, complex PTSD, low self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing patterns, harsh inner criticism, relationship difficulties, life transitions, grief, chronic stress, and feelings of being stuck, fragmented, or disconnected from themselves.

Many clients come to IFS after other approaches have helped only partially, because they finally feel truly seen — not as broken or disordered, but as whole human beings with understandable protective systems that were formed for very good reasons. Through consistent, compassionate parts work, clients often report reduced inner conflict, greater emotional regulation, deeper self-compassion, increased self-trust, and a profound sense of coming home to themselves. Healing becomes less about “fixing” and more about unburdening and reclaiming the calm, confident leadership of Self in daily life.

I also specialize in IFS-informed couples therapy. In relationship work, we gently explore each partner’s inner system while learning how your parts interact with your partner’s parts in real time. Most couples discover that painful cycles — criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, stonewalling, or people-pleasing — are not really about the two of you as people, but about one partner’s protective parts reacting to the other partner’s protective parts. By helping both partners unblend from these reactive patterns and respond from Self instead, we create safety, break old cycles, rebuild trust, deepen empathy, and restore intimacy and connection. Many couples describe the work as “life-changing” because they finally understand their partner’s behavior at a much deeper level and learn to become true allies and teammates rather than adversaries. The relationship transforms from a source of pain into a space of mutual healing and growth.

My therapeutic style is warm, collaborative, and always respectful of your system’s natural pace and wisdom. I do not push, rush, or pathologize. Instead, I offer steady, grounded presence and skillful, open-hearted questions that help your inner system feel safe enough to open up at its own rhythm. You remain the expert on your own experience; I am simply a compassionate guide and witness on the journey. Sessions are collaborative and interactive — we move between mindful awareness, parts dialogue, and gentle unburdening work, always checking in with how your system is responding.

Whether we work together as an individual or as a couple, my intention is to help you cultivate a more harmonious relationship with yourself and, when relevant, with your partner. The ultimate goal is not perfection, but greater Self-leadership, inner peace, authenticity, and the freedom to live with more ease, joy, and meaningful connection in all areas of your life. If this approach resonates with you, I would be truly honored to support you — or both of you — on this gentle, transformative path back to wholeness and Self-led living.

2020 – ongoing IFS and Gestalt therapist.

Working in individual sessions with Spanish and internation clients on their personal development. I mostly work in English but also have sessions in Spanish and Dutch. . • Provide IFS therapy to individuals and couples, addressing issues such as trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship conflicts. • Utilize the IFS model to help clients identify and unblend parts, fostering self-leadership through techniques like direct access and in-sight. • Conducted over 2000 IFS sessions, achieving measurable improvements in client self-reported emotional well-being and PTSD symptom reduction. • Facilitate workshops on IFS and self-compassion • Maintain detailed client records,

1991 – 1997 Technology management, Rijkshogeschool Groningen (Engineer’s degree) 2018 – 2021 Gestalt training institute intergratieu Barcelona. 2021 Psychology at the Open University in the Netherlands (ongoing) 2021 - 2024 Diafreo (corporal therapy) training 2022 Integrative Psychology and Enneagram in Dr. Claudio Naranjo’s SAT Program 2023 Internal Family Systems Therapy at the IFS Institute (Level 1 & 2) 2023 Trauma training in Institut Gestalt: Treatment from an integrative and practical perspective 2024 Body oriented Gestalt at institute intergratieu Barcelona 2024 Direct Access: An Essential IFS Skill 2025 Couples Therapy using Internal family systems (IFIO) 2025 IFS with Neurodivergent Clients (Individuals and Couples)