The Magic of the Nervous System
As human beings, we exist in a state of constant change, both individually and collectively. When this ever-shifting landscape collides with the exponential rise of technology and complex socio-political realities, the impact on our mental wellbeing becomes significant. Humanity has made remarkable intellectual progress, yet our social structures often tell a different story: one of isolation, chronic stress, and burnout.
These conditions should not be normalised. And yet, for most of us, they have become part of everyday life. Recent nervous system science is introducing a new framework that breaks this cycle, offering a more sustainable path toward greater capacity to cope with the difficulties of the present moment.
In this article, we explore the basics of Polyvagal Theory and what it means to befriend your nervous system during times of ongoing uncertainty. We also examine practical approaches to self-regulation and co-regulation.
What is Polyvagal Theory?
Polyvagal Theory is a significant update to our understanding of the autonomic nervous system and the role it plays in human mental health. The autonomic nervous system monitors and regulates the activity of the body’s visceral organs: the heart, lungs, liver, gallbladder, stomach, intestines, kidneys, and sexual organs.
Previously, the nervous system was described in terms of two states: stress and relaxation. Stress is the response of the sympathetic nervous system; rest is the response of the parasympathetic nervous system.
Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges, offers a more nuanced picture of how the vagus nerve functions and how it relates to the nervous system as a whole. It proposes that the parasympathetic nervous system contains two distinct circuits: the ventral vagal circuit, which supports a sense of safety and social engagement, and the dorsal vagal circuit, which is associated with shutdown and withdrawal.
The theory describes the nervous system as operating within a hierarchy. The three pathways, in evolutionary order from oldest to newest, are:
The dorsal vagus, associated with immobilisation or freeze responses. The sympathetic nervous system, associated with mobilisation, or fight-or-flight responses. The ventral vagus, associated with regulation, social engagement, and connection.
Understanding which state we are in at any given moment is the starting point for meaningful nervous system work. If you are looking for support in this area, somatic coaching is one approach that works directly with these states.
Befriending the nervous system
Befriending the nervous system begins with understanding how it functions. This is not a linear process, because the body and an individual’s lived experience are complex systems that cannot always be captured in words. This is why somatic coaching often moves away from purely cognitive meaning-making toward sensing and feeling the shifting states of the body.
Through deliberate nervous system work, it becomes possible to engage the resources of the ventral vagus and activate the circuits that support the Social Engagement System. Somatic coaching sessions can offer a co-regulatory experience in which clients rebuild a sense of safety. This is particularly relevant in post-trauma contexts, where a felt sense of safety is often the prerequisite for engaging with other challenges.
Befriending the nervous system happens through both understanding the theory and engaging in deliberate practice, allowing the nervous system to relearn and recreate patterns of safety. This kind of work can take place within therapeutic or coaching sessions, as well as through simple tools practiced independently or with trusted others.
Three practices for self-regulation
Regulating the nervous system in moments of dysregulation is difficult. Regular deliberate practice helps the nervous system become more familiar with self-regulation over time.
Orientation practice: Set aside three minutes each day to bring your attention to your five senses. Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
Observe your breath: Throughout the day, take moments to notice your breath. Where do you feel it: the nose, chest, or belly? What is its quality: deep or shallow, fast or slow? Observe without trying to change anything.
Move: If you tend toward dorsal vagal shutdown, deliberately changing your posture throughout the day can help. Shift from sitting to standing, or try sitting on a balance ball or dynamic chair. Become curious about small movements and allow yourself to enjoy them.
Three practices for co-regulation
Bring awareness to cues of safety and danger: When in connection with others, our nervous systems are constantly exchanging signals. Notice these cues and observe how your nervous system responds. This is not about labelling interactions as good or bad, but about developing awareness of how safety and risk are perceived, which can vary considerably from person to person.
Recognise your autonomic states: Social engagement and connection tend to occur when the ventral vagal system is active and you feel relatively safe and at ease. Begin to notice when you are in a ventral vagal state, a sympathetic arousal state, or a dorsal vagal state.
Curious observation: Continue observing your social environment and your personal experience of connection in any given moment.
When to seek professional support
These practices can be helpful as a starting point. For those dealing with chronic stress, burnout, or the effects of trauma, working with a practitioner who understands the nervous system can offer a more structured and supported path. You can explore somatic coaches and therapists on It’s Complicated who work specifically in this area.
Sources
Porges, S.W. The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe. W.W. Norton. Dana, D. The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W.W. Norton. Rosenberg, S. Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve. North Atlantic Books. Freinacht, H. The Listening Society: A Guide to Metamodern Politics. Metamoderna. Rhythm of Regulation Polyvagal Institute
Bihter Kartheuser is a somatic coach working at the intersection of nervous system science and personal development. She is based online and can be found at connectandbe.com. View Bihter’s profile on It’s Complicated.
