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Learn more about borderline personality disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition marked by intense, rapidly shifting emotions, an unstable sense of self, and difficulty maintaining stable relationships. People with BPD often experience a deep fear of abandonment and emotional reactions that feel overwhelming and hard to regulate, particularly within close relationships. BPD typically emerges in adolescence or early adulthood, and it is strongly associated with earlier experiences of invalidation or adversity. BPD is highly treatable: specialised therapies help most people achieve significant, lasting improvement, and many recover to the point of no longer meeting the diagnostic criteria.
BPD shows up differently from person to person, and many people carry these experiences for years before recognising the pattern.
Common signs include:
- Emotions that shift rapidly and feel far more intense than the situation seems to warrant
- An intense fear of abandonment, and strong reactions to perceived rejection
- Relationships that swing between idealising someone and feeling let down by them
- An unstable sense of who you are, with goals and values that feel like they keep changing
- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Impulsive behaviour in moments of distress
- Anger that feels difficult to control, followed by shame
- Urges to hurt yourself when emotions become unbearable
BPD responds well to therapies designed for it, and for a condition this sensitive to relationships, the fit with your therapist matters as much as the method. Therapy for BPD works best alongside appropriate clinical care, particularly during periods of crisis.
DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) was developed specifically for BPD and has the strongest evidence base. It teaches concrete skills for regulating emotions, tolerating distress, and navigating relationships.
Schema therapy works with the deep-rooted patterns formed early in life that drive BPD symptoms, and has shown strong results for personality-related difficulties. It suits people who want to understand and change the roots, not just manage the symptoms.
CFT (Compassion-Focused Therapy) directly targets the shame and harsh self-criticism that often accompany BPD. It helps build an internal voice that soothes rather than attacks.
Psychodynamic therapy explores how early relationships shaped current emotional patterns, often working with what surfaces in the therapy relationship itself. Mentalisation-based variants have good evidence for BPD.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) approaches intense emotional states as parts of you that developed to protect you, and works with them through curiosity rather than suppression.
Choosing an approach isn't something you have to do alone. IC's matching can pair you with a therapist whose approach suits your situation. Get matched.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. The platform is free to use, with over 2,500 vetted therapists offering in-person sessions in cities including Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, and Vienna, alongside online sessions worldwide.
For BPD, the relationship with your therapist isn't just the setting for the work; it's where the work happens. Finding someone who genuinely understands the condition matters. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify the right therapists for your situation, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who specialises in BPD, or browse all BPD therapists in the directory.
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