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Learn more about narcissism
Narcissism describes a set of personality traits centred on self-focus, a need for admiration, difficulty with empathy, and a fragile sense of self-worth beneath an outward confidence. Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Many people have some narcissistic traits without any disorder, and in small measure these traits can even be adaptive. This page is about recognising and working with narcissistic traits and tendencies in yourself. Where these traits are severe, persistent, and cause significant distress or difficulty, they may meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, which we cover separately. If you are struggling with the effects of someone else's narcissism, our page on narcissistic abuse may be more relevant.
Recognising narcissistic patterns in yourself takes real honesty, and wanting to change them is a strength, not a failing. You might find therapy helpful if you notice:
- A strong need for admiration or validation, and feeling deflated without it
- Sensitivity to criticism or rejection that feels out of proportion
- Difficulty empathising with others, or noticing this straining your relationships
- A pattern of relationships that start intensely and then break down
- Swinging between feeling superior and feeling deeply inadequate
- Using confidence, control, or achievement to keep insecurity at bay
- Feedback from people close to you that your behaviour is hurting them
Working on narcissistic traits is possible, and therapy tends to focus on the insecurity underneath them and on building genuine empathy and steadier self-worth. Several approaches suit this work.
- Schema therapy targets the deep-rooted patterns and early beliefs that drive narcissistic traits, and is one of the better-evidenced approaches for personality-related difficulties.
- Psychodynamic therapy explores the origins of these patterns, often in early relationships, and how they play out in your life now.
- CFT: Compassion-Focused Therapy helps with the shame and self-criticism that frequently sit beneath narcissistic traits, building a steadier and kinder relationship with yourself.
- Psychotherapy offers longer-term, in-depth work to understand and gradually shift entrenched relational patterns.
- Couples therapy can help where narcissistic traits are straining a relationship, giving both partners a space to be heard and to change how they relate.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
Seeking therapy for your own narcissistic traits takes courage, because looking honestly at patterns others have criticised is uncomfortable, and it can be hard to know where to start. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify therapists experienced in personality patterns, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist experienced in narcissism, or browse the directory to choose yourself.
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