How It's Complicated works
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Find your therapistUse our free matching service for personal recommendations, or browse our network of 2,500+ therapists yourself.
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Create your free accountSign up in under 2 minutes. All you need is an email and a password, and you're ready to go.
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Start therapyReach out to your therapist and book your first session within 24 hours. Online or in person, in 60+ languages.
Learn more about kink & BDSM
Kink refers to sexual interests or practices that fall outside conventional sexual norms, including roleplay, power exchange, sensation play, and fetish. BDSM is an umbrella acronym covering bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. These practices are consensual, and the emphasis on explicit negotiation, communication, and agreed limits is central to how most people in kink communities approach them. Kink and BDSM are not mental health conditions and are not classified as disorders when practised consensually between adults. People seek therapy in relation to kink and BDSM for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with the practices themselves being problematic.
There are many reasons someone involved in kink or BDSM might find therapy useful.
- You are navigating questions about your sexual identity, interests, or desires and want space to explore them without judgement
- You are in a relationship with a kink or BDSM dynamic and are working through communication, consent, or compatibility questions
- You have had an experience in a kink context that was not fully consensual and are processing its impact
- You feel shame, confusion, or conflict about your sexual interests that affects your wellbeing or relationships
- You are new to kink or BDSM and want support thinking through what healthy, consensual practice looks like for you
- Your kink interests intersect with questions about gender, sexuality, or relationship structure that you want to explore
- You are in a non-traditional relationship structure involving power exchange and want support navigating its dynamics
Several approaches are particularly suited to supporting people around kink and BDSM, with an emphasis on kink-awareness and non-pathologising practice.
- GSRD therapy GSRD (Gender, Sexual and Relationship Diversity) therapy is specifically designed for people whose sexual or relationship practices fall outside mainstream norms. Practitioners are trained to work without imposing conventional frameworks onto non-conventional lives.
- Sex therapy Sex therapy addresses the full range of questions that arise around sexual experience, identity, and relationships, including those specific to kink and BDSM, without treating atypical interests as inherently problematic.
- Psychotherapy Broader psychotherapeutic work can support the exploration of sexual identity, the processing of difficult experiences, and the relational dimensions of kink dynamics.
- Counselling Counselling provides a consistent, non-directive space for people navigating questions about their sexual interests, relationships, or identity at their own pace.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
Finding a therapist who is genuinely kink-aware and non-judgmental, rather than simply tolerant, requires a more careful search than a standard directory allows. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify the right therapists for your situation, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who specialises in kink and BDSM, or browse the directory.
