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Learn more about domestic violence
Domestic violence refers to a pattern of controlling, coercive, or threatening behaviour used by one person against another within an intimate or family relationship. It includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, as well as coercive control: the use of tactics to dominate, isolate, and undermine a person's autonomy over time. Domestic violence is not limited to physical acts; non-physical forms of abuse can be equally damaging and are recognised in law in many European countries. The psychological effects, including trauma, chronic fear, shame, and loss of identity, frequently persist long after the relationship ends.
The impact of domestic violence is often cumulative and not always immediately visible, including to the person experiencing it.
- You are afraid of your partner's reactions and alter your behaviour to manage or avoid them
- You have been hit, pushed, restrained, or threatened, or fear that you might be
- Your partner controls what you can do, who you see, where you go, or your access to money
- You are regularly criticised, humiliated, or made to feel worthless in private or in front of others
- Your partner monitors your phone, messages, or movements, or demands to know where you are at all times
- You feel responsible for your partner's behaviour, or believe you have provoked it
- You have withdrawn from friends, family, or activities that used to be part of your life
Therapy for domestic violence focuses on recovering safety, processing trauma, and rebuilding identity and self-trust. It does not require that you have left the relationship to begin.
- Trauma informed care Trauma-informed care prioritises safety, choice, and the survivor's sense of control throughout the therapeutic relationship, and is foundational to all effective work in this area.
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) EMDR helps process traumatic memories from abusive experiences, reducing the intensity of flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts.
- CFT (Compassion-focused therapy) CFT directly addresses the shame, self-blame, and self-criticism that are common among survivors of domestic violence, building a more compassionate relationship with yourself and your responses.
- Counselling Counselling provides a consistent, safe space to talk through what has happened, make sense of the relationship's dynamics, and think about what you need going forward, at your own pace.
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) CBT can help with anxiety, hypervigilance, and the distorted beliefs about yourself that abusive relationships can instil, building more accurate and self-supportive ways of thinking.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
Finding a therapist who understands abusive relationship dynamics, and who will not minimise or misread what you have experienced, matters enormously in this context. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify the right therapists for your situation, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who specialises in domestic violence, or browse the directory.
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