How It's Complicated works
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Find your therapistUse our free matching service for personal recommendations, or browse our network of 2,500+ therapists yourself.
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Create your free accountSign up in under 2 minutes. All you need is an email and a password, and you're ready to go.
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Start therapyReach out to your therapist and book your first session within 24 hours. Online or in person, in 60+ languages.
Learn more about loneliness
Loneliness is the subjective experience of painful disconnection from others, a gap between the quality or depth of connection you want and what you actually have. It is not the same as being alone: a person can feel profoundly lonely while surrounded by people, and can spend a great deal of time in solitude without feeling lonely at all. Loneliness is increasingly recognised as a significant concern for wellbeing, associated with elevated rates of depression, anxiety, and other health difficulties when it becomes chronic. Therapy can help not just by providing a connection in the room, but by exploring the patterns, fears, and beliefs that make meaningful connection difficult to find or sustain.
Loneliness takes many forms, and not all of them are immediately obvious.
- You feel chronically misunderstood or unknown, even by people you spend time with regularly
- You have acquaintances but few relationships that feel genuinely close or reciprocal
- You have moved to a new city or country and are struggling to build meaningful connections
- Social situations feel effortful or anxiety-provoking in ways that make you avoid them, which deepens the isolation
- You have been through a significant change, a separation, bereavement, or retirement, that has disrupted your social world
- You feel embarrassed or ashamed about loneliness, which makes it harder to address
- You find yourself relying on screens, busyness, or other habits to manage the discomfort of disconnection
Therapy for loneliness focuses not just on increasing social contact but on understanding what makes genuine connection difficult and building the capacity for it.
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) CBT addresses the thought patterns and social avoidance behaviours that sustain isolation, particularly when social anxiety is a contributing factor.
- Group therapy Group therapy provides a real relational environment in which to practise connection, receive honest feedback, and experience belonging in a structured, supported setting.
- Counselling Counselling offers a consistent, warm relational space that is itself an experience of connection, alongside exploring the patterns that make connection outside of therapy difficult.
- Person-centred approach Person-centred therapy, grounded in unconditional positive regard, can be particularly valuable for people whose loneliness is rooted in a belief that they are not worth knowing or that closeness is not available to them.
- CFT (Compassion-focused therapy) CFT addresses the shame and self-criticism that often accompany chronic loneliness, building a more compassionate internal relationship as a foundation for external connection.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
For people who have moved abroad or are building a new life in an unfamiliar city, finding a therapist who speaks your language and understands your context is especially important. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify the right therapists for your situation, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who specialises in loneliness, or browse the directory.
