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Learn more about polyamory
Polyamory and consensual non-monogamy (CNM) describe relationship structures in which everyone involved openly agrees to have more than one romantic or sexual relationship. CNM is an umbrella term covering polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, swinging, and other arrangements. What defines them is consent and honesty: all partners know about and agree to the arrangement, which is what distinguishes CNM from cheating. These are valid relationship choices, not a disorder or a problem to be solved. Therapy for polyamory and CNM is not about questioning your relationship structure, but about supporting you within it.
You do not need a crisis to see a therapist about your relationships, and you do not need to be defending your choices to anyone. People in or exploring CNM often want support from someone who understands the territory. You might find therapy helpful if you:
- Are navigating jealousy, insecurity, or comparison, and want tools to work with them
- Are opening up a relationship, or exploring non-monogamy for the first time
- Are working out boundaries, agreements, or how to communicate needs across partners
- Feel the strain of managing time, energy, or emotions between relationships
- Are dealing with the pressure of keeping your relationship structure private
- Find that partners are at different levels of comfort with the arrangement
- Want to talk about relationships without first having to explain or justify CNM
Support for polyamory and CNM draws on relationship-focused therapies, adapted by a therapist who understands non-monogamy. Several approaches suit this work.
- GSRD therapy: Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Diversity therapy is designed for the full range of relationship and sexual identities, and centres your experience without pathologising it.
- Couples therapy can work for more than two people, helping partners communicate, set agreements, and navigate difficulty together.
- Sex therapy addresses sexual concerns, desire, and intimacy, which can be part of what people bring to CNM relationships.
- Counselling offers supportive space to talk through jealousy, boundaries, or the pressures of non-monogamy at your own pace.
- Systemic therapy looks at the whole web of relationships and how they interact, which fits the complexity of polyamorous dynamics well.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
Finding a therapist who won't treat your relationship as the problem can be the hardest part, and the fear of judgement puts many people off seeking support at all. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify therapists experienced in non-monogamy and relationship diversity, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who understands polyamory and consensual non-monogamy, or browse the directory to choose yourself.
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