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Learn more about psychological abuse
Psychological abuse, sometimes called emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a pattern of behaviour used to control, manipulate, intimidate, or demean another person in ways that damage their sense of self, reality, and wellbeing. It occurs in intimate partner relationships, families, and other settings involving a power imbalance. Unlike physical abuse, psychological abuse leaves no visible marks, which makes it harder to name and easier to minimise, including by the person experiencing it. It is recognised as a form of domestic violence in many European jurisdictions and is closely linked to narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and complex PTSD (C-PTSD).
Psychological abuse is often gradual and cumulative. Many people do not recognise it as abuse until well after the relationship has ended.
- You are regularly criticised, humiliated, or made to feel stupid, worthless, or inadequate by someone close to you
- Your perception of reality is questioned or denied, leaving you uncertain about your own memory or judgement (gaslighting)
- You feel walking on eggshells, monitoring your behaviour to avoid triggering someone else's reactions
- You have been isolated from friends, family, or support networks over time
- Your movements, finances, relationships, or decisions are monitored or controlled
- You feel responsible for the other person's emotional state and blame yourself when they are angry or upset
- You have lost confidence in your own perceptions, needs, and judgement in ways that were not there before
Therapy for psychological abuse focuses on restoring a sense of safety, rebuilding self-trust, and processing the trauma that sustained abuse creates.
- Trauma informed care Trauma-informed care prioritises safety, transparency, and the survivor's sense of control throughout, and is foundational to working with the impact of psychological abuse.
- CFT (Compassion-focused therapy) CFT addresses the profound shame, self-blame, and self-criticism that psychological abuse typically instils, building a more compassionate internal relationship as a basis for recovery.
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) EMDR helps process the traumatic memories and experiences that accumulate through sustained psychological abuse, reducing their ongoing grip on daily life.
- Counselling Counselling provides a consistent, safe space to name what happened, make sense of the relationship's dynamics, and develop clarity about what you need going forward.
- IFS (Internal Family Systems) IFS works with the internal parts that carry the impact of abuse, including the parts that still carry shame, self-doubt, or loyalty to the abusive relationship, supporting integration and self-leadership.
It's Complicated is a therapist-founded mental health platform connecting clients with verified practitioners across Europe and globally, in over 60 languages. We work with over 2,500 vetted therapists, with in-person availability in Berlin, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Lisbon, Vienna, and other major cities, alongside online sessions worldwide. It's Complicated is free to use, and you pay your chosen therapist directly at rates they set.
Finding a therapist who recognises psychological abuse patterns and will not minimise what you have experienced requires a specific kind of matching. Our matching service is built to remove that friction. You complete a short survey, our psychologists combine data-driven insights with human judgement to identify the right therapists for your situation, and you choose from a shortlist of strong candidates. You can also browse our directory directly if you'd prefer to choose yourself.
Get matched with a therapist who specialises in psychological abuse, or browse the directory.
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